chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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