I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
