we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
