No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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