i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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