Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think your dad took our porno
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Come on in and take your pants off
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