i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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