how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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