i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
