ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
