Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
