I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
