Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
