I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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