i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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