an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
