At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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