when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
