when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
