its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
