yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
