but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
