CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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