you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize