Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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