Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
