Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
