Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
