If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
