She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
