when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize