remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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