the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
