Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i drank out of a bidet.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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