I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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