hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
