She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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