I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
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