turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just found puke in my bra..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
