i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
