i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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