didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
