i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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