So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
