When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
