im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
