Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The air was thick with penises
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
