a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
