would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
