I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
