At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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