Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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