Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
