she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
