I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize