my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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