Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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