The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
