yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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