Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
