Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize