No more Irish car bombs ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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