Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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