Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
