I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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