he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
