I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
