I want to stick my p in your. b.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
