just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need to calm my uterus...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
