I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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