There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
