It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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