i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
