My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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