Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
