SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
