I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
