So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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