question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
