I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I smell stomach acid.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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