Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
